KJ has to give a talk tomorrow about "Fathers" and she was able to pull up a talk she gave 20 years ago, also on fathers day. She likely will use a lot of the prior talk. When I re read it what stood out to me was her comments about her life growing up and her parents and what she valued that she learned from them. She remembered learning to drive in her fathers Studebaker. Thinking back about about these type of cars I remember that there were ugly ones and then the one her dad drove was a good looking one. We went out on a double date in one of the ugly ones. Probably our first date together?
Talks are somewhat like good books. The good ones make you think of things you associate with the words. Good fathers is probably a worthy subject today. Both Kathy and I had very good fathers. They both loved their wife very much. That can make up for a lot. It sets a good example. Probably it is worth more than most other things. Time spent with a father is pretty special but who he treats his
wife may, in my opinion, have more of an impact on our lives later on.
What seems especially important as I ponder this is how different our life is when our all of our parents are passed on. The memories change and continue to change.
Today I think of my father and I am reminded that he always seemed to be happy with his life. His happiness wasn't just a "positive attitude" type of thing. Not that a positive attitude is bad? I do think that it isn't really all that "good" if it is not deeply rooted. Some people seem to really be happy or positive and don't have to apply any rules to their outlook. My dad had a positive attitude in that he seemed to enjoy his life and it seemed to come from deep within.
I can't help but think of my brother when I spend time thinking about my father. At least today that is the case. My brother seemed in some ways to really enjoy his life. He had some challenges but even so he reminded me of my dad in that I think he just enjoyed life. I know he loved his kids and family. He seemed to always be willing to reach out to me. He was probably the one that needed reaching out to but then he would jump on a plane and come at the drop of a hat, if I asked him too. I wish I had asked more often.
I have wondered why my father was happy. So having said this here is some insight. Wondering about things like that is not a Rx for happiness. It can lead to being less than positive. I do think he really valued his family but in particular I think my dad always really felt he was luckily to have my mother for a companion. I saw that same thing in KJ's father, Hal. I have always felt that way about KJ but as I get older and see so many changes in what I had thought were things and relationships that defined me and now do not, I find that KJ is the core of my focus and I treasure that.
