The Mantra

I have blogged several times the last few weeks. The first time in over a year.  The question I have not resolved is why am I blogging. It is probably the case that no one buy my daughter and perhaps my wife have read any of this. Kathy may figure that the one she read was it and hasn't been back. My family is pretty loyal but I am pretty sure they are out of the habit of checking this blog.

I have wondered about inviting some extended family to read it and maybe some friends?  I haven't done that before. Maybe this blog would, if I keep blogging in it up, turn into a way to stay in touch or up to date with them.  Facebook perhaps is a more modern way to do that? I can't see me going on Facebook and living parts of my life there. I have limited interest in what I see there and have the potential to be in front of a lot of people who had not intent of seeing anything about me on purpose.

I have also thought about starting another blog. I might make it more about something. Something is a necessary word here because I have no answer for what that something would be. I don't think politics is a good subject. Religion probably isn't but then religion is about strong feelings about things and I have those.

I do think I have some subjects inside that may come out in a book.

     The goodness of people

Is often blurred with each day

     The life story reveals, whats in the way

 Today this blog has room to become a book blog.  I just finished the book, "Writing Down The Bones, Freeing the Writer Within", by Natlie Goldberg.  

It was about the writer and writing.  One thing I didn’t expect from the author was how her years in New Mexico were relevant to this subject. 

 The expected image I often find about this state is one that when I am in Santa Fe or Taos. There I find it in excess. It is a mantra. Artsy, cool, creative, beautiful, all creating an image in what ever is being discussed.

With the Bones book finished I just went in and found another book I might read.  "On Second Thought, by Robison E. Wells. (maybe he is a more important writer than Natalie Goldberg because he has a middle initial on the cover?)  It says right on the cover that it is "a novel". Maybe that is a declaration or maybe it was part of the title?  Perhaps the book really is an attempt at being a novel or maybe the whole thing is just a story about writing a novel? Not sure yet. 

A early surprise about this book was found in the "back cover comments". A character in the book, Walt, is offered a job in Alamitos, New Mexico. It says that the town is beset with colorful, offbeat characters and mystery .......................

Here again is the New Mexico Mantra at least the mantra is used to suggest something. Having read the first part of the book I didn't think that it was the same mantra of artsy and cool and more important the book didn't hold my interest..................

Bright Shinny Momements

I have driven to work each weekday for almost 13 years now. Today was no different, but then the things I saw stuck me different?  

I don’t use the freeway but instead drive on the city streets. On the freeway I am surrounded by cars and each has someone inside usually just the driver. Often I notice what they are doing but I don’t spend much time thinking about them.

Today it occurred to me that on the city streets, even with cars still alongside mine, that the roadside seem to have almost no people. The streets are lined with houses and businesses and I assume that most have people inside?

As I slowed down approaching an intersection I noticed a young woman sitting on a bench waiting for the bus.  The first thing that caught my attention was her light sky blue tennis shoes. The blue and the white soles were spotless. The copper rivets in her Levis seemed to shine in the sun. Her pants were a traditional dark blue color with a white shirt loose and hanging over them. Her black rim square glasses complimented her long raven black hair hanging down over her shoulders.  She was an American Indian and her brown skin against her black hair and the way she was dressed just sort of sparkled. 

Her image sparkled. It was shinny and happy. It reminded me of yesterday morning before I went to work. I sat looking to the east out of an upstairs window at the mountains. The trees were full of thick moisture filled leaves and the morning sun seemed to deflect off them. The corners of the leaves were actually like small mirrors. 

The trees sparkled. 

Good to find some bright shinny moments. 

Retire or ReInvent / Ok

Retire or Re Invent?

I am 6 weeks out from a change. Maybe 5. Today I was talking to a financial planner and that was my answer to her when she asked about it. Retiring or re inventing.  

Not so strange really.  We have called it "the next chapter".

Looking back over my career I have re invented myself several times. 

I went into the wholesale business after collage. I went into the brokerage business after that and then back into the wholesale business and then back into the brokerage business.  Well then again I went back into the wholesale business and then almost finally on into the restaurant business.  

It is a good thing that this, today's blog, is not my book because even I am bored with this beginning. 

Even so the theme of reinventing oneself is a reality. I did it. I might do it again. 

A long time ago I wrote a book. I had in my mind some lessons that seemed clear at the time. I thought that life had taught me the value of doing your best and seeking out the best. That idea got lost in the writing of the book and really would be hard to see looking back at it.  I did use some quotes in the book that had felt really good when I thought about what I wanted the book to say.  Probably too many quotes really and not enough book.  Even so so of the things I read, especially good quotes, just have such an impact. 

I saw a book on a shelf upstairs a few minutes ago. All the good books are packed (retiring and moving) so I was hunting for something to read. The book that caught my attention said, "1001 books that you need to read before you die". Ok. I have already read over a 1000 books so now what. I didn't pick it up and by the way I have already read that book too. 

Well I want to go back to the idea in this short message of reinventing. Each of the prior changes that I have gone through have built on the past. They have seemed different but in many ways they seemed different because of what I did before.

I am not planning on anymore of the food business. So for the goal of reinventing now I probably have to see in my past the lessons and things I have gained from the people I have known.

Sorry but this just leads me to a quote. Marcel Proust a famous writer if you like old books, or maybe if your old, said something profound.  He said that "the real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new sights, but in looking with new eyes."

I really like that quote. Looking back and thinking maybe I ought to really value the relationships and people is some new vision. Reinvention is new vision. New eyes. New conclusions. It is exciting.

One more quote. Sorry I just can't help it. T.S.Eliot is another older guy who has said some good things. In thinking of my new eyes, my reinvention, and even my hope that I can find a book in me that will be a good enough book to keep and read, I love this idea about what is coming next that he expressed so well. 

He said that "we shall not cease from exploration. And at the end of our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time."

Yes indeed. I see some things now that seem to be different and even original even though I have seen them before.

On the other hand I am not done. I intend to keep exploring. I have just started to figure out what the right questions really are.

Thoughts about Retirement and today............................



This is my second post in a long long time. I likely have no followers.  I have started posting on my blog again to see what I might have to say?  I do have some questions that occur to me?  

I do like this quote. "Teachers teach more by what they are than what they say".  Maybe in retirement my seeking a subject to write about will as part of that goal help me to figure how who, after all this, am I.

I don't know that "a blog" really is the place to find that out? On the other hand is this really the best blog location, for a blog anyway? (a very different question)

Should I be blogging for just the family and some friends, or for anyone who wants to look in?  Do I need two blogs?  

I have some plans to write a book and maybe some possible topics for chapters or pages could make its way into the blog? 



Well, I am still working and will be for another few weeks. Then I am retiring. 

I have always spent a lot of time using "Outlook" on my computer to do emails and to keep track of things. When you look at the inbox in Outlook you see on the left side the "Mail Folders". Under them you can create other folders. You can move all your incoming emails, that you want to keep, into a folder with the category of the emails name on it. You an pull up your "sent emails" and store them for reference.  This is just a small amount of the ways to use this tool.

Over the last 8+ years in my current job I have created many many files. I have big categories.  Purchasing, Human Resources, Distribution, Stores, Insurance and on and on. Within these areas I have smaller files. Employees by name. Store by store number. HR policies, ect and so on.

Since I will retire in a few weeks I have been reviewing these files. Many have emails going back to day one. Day one was back in May of 2008 for my current job.  

I have taken the information in a lot of these files and passed them to those who will handle those areas after I leave. Even so, I have probably deleted over a thousand files and the contents, at least, so far, besides those passed on. 

So in a way I am deleting the sum total of all the documentation of all this time. The 8+ years. 

There must be some big profound lesson to be drawn from this other than that this was just a good way to hand off the baton.
. 


So did something good come from all that I deleted? Was the file effort worth it. What value went away by deleting it?  The files are not clean they are just gone




I still had the experiences.